for the record

Abuse Case File

robin_redinc's picture
Robin Elizabeth
I was born in October 1959
Memphis, TN
Adopted in 1963 in California by my foster parents
I was raised in a beach community in California.
My abusers were both parents; but primarily my adopted mother

From as early as I remember (before my adoption) I was subjected to emotional, psychological, verbal and physical abuse by my foster mom who later became my adopted mom.  Both parents drank alcohol daily and believed in corporal punishment. My father hit me also. But not nearly as bad as she did. And she constantly put me down, let me know I wasn't good enough.

My worst beating occured during the summer I was 13. My mother beat me with a board so badly that my backside was black & blue from top to bottom and side to side. I had difficulty sitting down for several days.  One friend saw the bruises, but I swore her to secrecy.  All she could say was, "Oh my God, Robin!" 

Police officers came to my junior high. They asked me if my parents hit me; did I had any bruises & could I show them.  Fortunately, I didn't have any bruises. "Fortunately".  Of course I denied that my parents hit me. I was scared to death that when my parents found out I'd 'really get it!'    

I got pregnant at 16 by the only boy I'd ever dated. My adopted mom told me I was a "tramp & a whore, just like your mother!"

Two days after my dad died, my mom disowned me by leaving a message on my voice mail.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

Abuse doesn't just affect the one who's abused. It affects everyone in the abused person's life for a very long time. I affected my children, who were raised not by an abusive mother, but by one who was terribly insecure, who felt like a failure no matter what successes she had, who had trouble expressing loving emotions and was somewhat 'shut off' (for lack of a better description).

My childrend suffered.  My relationships suffered. I was never fully able to accept that anyone could love me.  I still struggle with that today.  The terrible things my a.mom said to me, I'd repeat out loud. Her words hurt those who love me, like my husband.  I learned to stop repeating her words out loud.

About adoption: 

Why would anyone go to the trouble of adopting a child and then abuse that child?  Sadly adoption is no guarantee that an adoptee will end up in a home free from abuse, or that the child will be loved & cared for as every child deserves. 

Still, I support adoption for children who've lost their parents for whatever reason. Every child deserves to have loving parents & a stable home to grow up in.  But the adoption industry needs sweeping reforms.  It must be "child centered". 

Abuse Case File

I Was Here's picture
Annonymous
1970
Vietnam
1973
I was raised in a mostly white family in an all white community.
My abusers were my adoptive parents and their oldest biological son.

I was subjected to physical and mental abuse at the hands of my adoptive parents From June 1974 to December 1981.  The mental abuse continued from my adoptive mother from June 1974 and continued up to February 1993.  I also suffered sexual abuse from my adoptive parent's oldest biological son from 1977 to 1980.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

I continue to this day to have emotional scars and a physical scar.  I have intimacy issues with my spouse sometimes, which causes me to wonder if it has to do with the sexual abuse by my parent's oldest son.  Abuse of any kind towards any one, especially children should NOT be tolerated. 

About adoption: 

I don't believe in intercountry adoption because it separates the child from it's culture, language and self identity.  The child feels alienated within it's new culture in a predominantely white family.

Abuse Case File

iwasstolen's picture
Vanessa
May 18, 1969
India
April 1978
Nelson, British Columbia, Canada
Adopted mother and father

From April 1978 until October 1984 I was sexually and physcially abused by my adopted parents. They both had been found mentally unfit to adopt me but through private adoption were able to get me. I was kept in an attic with no light which was freezing cold in the winter and stiffling hot in the summer. I was starved alot of times as well. I was not allowed in the living room or kitchen except to clean. My life was such a nightmare that sleep became my only friend.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

The abuse I faced is hard to describe and put into words. it kills your soul and makes you think that you are no good and that you are meant to be abused. It makes you feel unloved and uncared for,It never goes away it is always there you just learn to live with it and the past because it will always be part of you.

About adoption: 

I for one do not support intercountry adoption. I beleive adoption is alread hard but when you bring a child from another country and place a minority child in a predominantly white area it damages that child.

My adopted parents were found unfit to adopt me and yet through private adoption were able to get me which is not right just beacause they  had money and I faced years of torture and abuse with no one to help me. I was finally taken away by social services. My adoption should never have been allowed because I had also been stolen from my family and then hidden and then adopted out. it is just wrong!!!!

Syndicate content