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Christine's picture
Christine
I was born on Sept,13, 1974
cheap fake watches
1980?
transracial
Michigan
my adopted parents, and the system that placed me for adoption

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Your Message
About Abuse: 

Children are a gift- HONOR that gift, love them. cherish them. recognize how beautiful they are.

(Abuse Case File)

jstone's picture
My name is Jane Buffington Atkinson Stone
I was born in 1942
I was born in orphanage, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
I was adopted in 1945
I was raised in Atkinson household, Eau Claire, Wisconsin
My abuser was Alveretta Atkinson (mother) and Mark Atkinson (adopted brother)

Abuse i was subjected to:  from 1945-1959: verbal and physical abuse including:  lock-up in confined areas, without food or bathroom for 1 day to 10 days at a time, lashings with wide plastic belt, laserations with knives, right eye split in half, scalding water baths after lacerations when merthiolate would be poured on open wounds until i would loose conscienceness, strangulations until loss of conscienceness, thrown down stairwells, stomped, kicked, head knocked into cement basement walls, etc.. also attempted drownings while at summer home on lake chetek, wisconsin.

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sylvie
1968
cheap wedding dresses
1968
transracial
north bay, ontario, canada
my adopted father

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Your Message
About Abuse: 

I would never touch my children as they grew up. I was always afraid I would be like my dad, but thank god i wasn't. I did speed, crack cocaine, and tried suicide twice. I give all my love to my children and grandchildren. I have been clean from street drugs for 8 years. Now I take prozac, sleeping pills, i have anxiety disorder, I am suicidal, etc. My sex life has gotten better, but it took years to get to the place I am now. I hate my brother and my adoptive parents. I just want them to pay for what they have done to me. 

About adoption: 

I wish I had never been adopted. Noone liked me because in the neighbourhood I grew up in were all hottie totties. There was no love in our family, just giving things and spending money. Had to read books to learn about women things, periods etc. Had no boyfriends, ran away all the time, tried to kill myself, took overdose of pills, tried burning the house down, etc.

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sylvie
1968
maurice lacroix ladies watch
1968
domestic
north bay, ontario, canada
my adopted father

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Your Message
About Abuse: 

I would never touch my children as they grew up. I was always afraid I would be like my dad, but thank god i wasn't. I did speed, crack cocaine, and tried suicide twice. I give all my love to my children and grandchildren. I have been clean from street drugs for 8 years. Now I take prozac, sleeping pills, i have anxiety disorder, I am suicidal, etc. My sex life has gotten better, but it took years to get to the place I am now. I hate my brother and my adoptive parents. I just want them to pay for what they have done to me. 

About adoption: 

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Abuse Case File

sylvie
1968
chateauguay, ormstown, quebec
1968
north bay, ontario, canada
my adopted father

he molested me from the time I was 6 until 18 years old. He took me to his bed saying if I loved him I would have sex with him. Also when ever my mother was gone he would have sexual intercourse with me. When he was drunk he would come to my room. As I got older I would lock the door for my room, but he would have the key. My adoptive mother caught him and blamed me. So did her parents, they gave her and my father heck. Recently, now that I am 48, the molestation was brought up at the church through my brother. I was so mad, After I tried to jump off a bridge, now that the church knows my business. When I went up in 2005, I went to the church and noone even knew that they had a daughter, only my brother. Everytime my brother got, or gets in trouble it is my fault, I have always been the black sheep of the family. Now I am so pissed I want to sue my brother and my father. I also got hangers around my neck, missed my grade eight prom, because of my brother, didn't get to date in high school. Been with three men, one was gay, the second abused me too, and then my now husband and I have been married 21 years come Feb. 17, 2011.  

Your Message
About Abuse: 

I would never touch my children as they grew up. I was always afraid I would be like my dad, but thank god i wasn't. I did speed, crack cocaine, and tried suicide twice. I give all my love to my children and grandchildren. I have been clean from street drugs for 8 years. Now I take prozac, sleeping pills, i have anxiety disorder, I am suicidal, etc. My sex life has gotten better, but it took years to get to the place I am now. I hate my brother and my adoptive parents. I just want them to pay for what they have done to me. 

About adoption: 

I wish I had never been adopted. Noone liked me because in the neighbourhood I grew up in were all hottie totties. There was no love in our family, just giving things and spending money. Had to read books to learn about women things, periods etc. Had no boyfriends, ran away all the time, tried to kill myself, took overdose of pills, tried burning the house down, etc.

Abuse Case File

SusieQ's picture
My name is InTheShadowSS
I was born in June 1963
I was born in Los Angeles, California
I was adopted in August 1963
I was raised in Sacramento
My abusers were my Dad, employer, brother and uncle

I was 9 at the time. Dad was so angry from losing his job that he became physically abusive. He was bruising my little brother so badly that Mom had to compress his back and make up stories to tell the teachers. He blackened my eye just swinging to hit anything. I lived in a family of Ostriches. When things go wrong, bury your head in the sand, “don’t air your dirty laundry”. Mom also became afraid of Dad and wanted to leave him but said that she signed a contract to adopt us and would honor that and keep the family together. Mom didn't protect us, and got to where she was leaving every summer to go see her sister. She would take my little sister with her and leave me at home to cook for Dad, work, and deal with the guys. It was like HELL!

At 10, I had to get a job to pay the bills, so I started to babysit for a family. My first remembered sexual abuser, the father of the kids I babysat. David started touching me when I was 12. I wanted to quit my job but feared the wrath of my father. I knew if I didn’t have this job making $56 a week, we would be forced to move from our house. So when I was offered an extra $20 to stay for an hour, I didn’t say no. I let him touch me and make me touch him, and then gave the money to Dad. This continued until I was 15 and David wanted more. I was finally brave enough to quit my job, but I had another job lined up and was never without a job.The summer I turned 15 my big brother raped me. He said since we weren’t blood related, it was okay to have sex. Well, not in my books!! I told Mom that I wouldn't go anyplace with him again, but was afraid to say why. I thought that Dad would call me a liar and blame me, he was always partial to the big Bro. For the next few years, he would wander into my bedroom drunk and want to do me, but I wouldn't allow it. It broke my heart and to this day, I get a sick feeling when I have to talk to him.I moved out of the house on my 18th birthday to live with friends. A couple months later, my Aunt came through town and invited me to live with her. After the first few days of sleeping on her couch, my Uncle woke me up saying he was horny. He said it was okay to have sex because we were not blood related. NOT AGAIN! I kept him off me for a month, then needed a ride. He drove me to a corn field and raped me. I moved to my cousins house to get away, but he had a key and came back for seconds. I went after him with a butcher knife and that is the last time I saw him. He died a couple years ago. I'm also sure he touched me when I was much younger, but the memories are sketchy.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

Just because you aren't blood related to someone, it doesn't give you the right to force yourself upon them and abuse them. Incest is Incest and bruises feel the same to everyone! 

About adoption: 

When you adopt a child, you should protect them at all cost. You may have paid money for them, but they are human beings who are lost and need your love, not your abuse. Protect them!!!!

abuse case file

falconfeather23's picture
falconfeather23
I was born on 23 July, 1962
Manchester, UK.
I was adopted at six months old .
I was raised in Manchester and then Blackpool.
My abusers were my amother,afather,boy next door.

One of the first memories I have is of my afather holding my older brother up against a wall by his neck --he was about four at the time --and me standing there sceaming because I was frightened he was hurting him .M af turned round and shouted at me that he would give me somethnig to cry about if I carried on screaming .He would go purple with rage and his eyes would bulge ,and then he would let loose on us. He continued to hit, spank, whip and throw us down stairs until we left home. He also would wash me in the bath, rubbing soap between my legs ,until I was about 12, and looking back I can see that he had an erection while doing this. My amother wanted a perfect little girl ,a doll to dress up, and I was a big disappointment to her. She liked my brother but not me. She always told me I was a nutter, a weirdo, and no one would like me when I grew up. She was critical of eveything I did, I couldnt do anything right. When I got older she would say I was dirty an smelly ,and not allow me to bring any freinds home -she was a snob and only allowed me to play with children of her friends who she approved of. In the summers , I was sent out with some crackers and cream cheese and told not to come home til late. In the winters, I just had to stay out of the way .She was scared of my afather, what he might do to us ,I think . When I was two I used to have nightmares --my aparents locked me in my bedroom so I couldn't get out of the dark room when I woke up--this wasn't intentional cruelty, as they were trying to stop me throwing myself down the stairs which I did regularly--but it's stuck with me and I'm still terrified of the dark. Memories keep surfacing now and I wonder what else  I have forgotten. I can half remember afather sexually abusing me at a very young age, but I'm not sure if this is a real memory or not. When I was 12, a boy who lived next door sexually abused me --I didn't remember this until  recently-and I'm 100% sure this happened. When I was a teenager I started to drink to blot things out --came home very drunk most nights and got beaten up by afather. Ran away three times and got picked up by the police and brought back. Began to look for approval in other men, had first sex at 13 with a much older man. Got thrown out when I was 16 by afather. I had a lot of bad relatonships in adulthood, attahcment problems, self esteem issues --my ex husband is a sex addict and abusive . I have disowned my aparents now and don't have any contact with them. Working through things now,slowly,and see a life someday free of pain and guilt.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

Children are precious stars ,innocent and trusting .Society is messed up and so much needs to be changed. Start with yourself.

About adoption: 

Adoption can bring a child much love and hope but there should be training courses, stricter guidlines and follow up care and monitoring--its all about protecting the child.

Abuse Case File

btstormb2006's picture
btstormb2006
October 1966
South Korea
1969
Florida
Adoptive father and mother

My adoptive father sexually abused me from the age of 4 until 14 years old.  He continued to emotionally abuse me until shortly before his death in 1993. My adoptive mother not only failed to protect me after I told her about the abuse, but she also harshly criticized me as well.  Her inactions and neglect negatively affected me as much as her actions.  I was 26 when she took responsibility for her actions, but I still dont feel that she has fully recognized her role as the abuser or accomplice.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

Silence protects abusers, prevents healing for the victims and thus, perpetuates abuse. The years lost to self-doubt, guilt, and shame because of abuse, will never be recovered, however, as healing adults we can expose the truth to help ourselves and others who may not feel strong enough yet to speak about the injustices done to them.  Victims can stop the cycle of abuse and empower themselves to take back their lives for today and tomorrow. 

About adoption: 

Adoption is a multi-billion dollar industry primarily benefitting adoption agencies under the guise of protecting and saving unwanted children.  Not all adoptees were unwanted children and legal adoptions occur without the biological parents voluntarily relinquishing their children. Specifically in South Korea, a paradigm shift must occur in order for unwed mothers to have the option of keeping their babies instead of giving them up to adoption. There is much work to do in Korea to change the existing laws and practices.

Abuse Case File

nikkiv2's picture
My name is Nikki
I am told I was born on September 27, 1969
in Our Lady of Victory Infant Home in Lackawanna, NY.
I am told I was placed with my adoptive family on April 23, 1970 and that my adoption was finalized on February 5, 1971.
I was raised outside Buffalo, New York, first in a duplex that housed me and my afamily upstairs, and my afather's mom & dad, two sisters and three of their daughters downstairs. After my grandfather died, my aparents would convert to born again christianity. They bought a house of their own and cut us off from my afather's side of the family because they refused to forsake their Catholicism.
My amother was the person from whom I received the most crap, but my afather would also dole out the punishment. There were six kids, my older brother T and myself were adopted (but not related). Then there were two girls, St and E, and two boys, Sc and J, who were born following my adoption. My older abrother terrorized all of the kids, bullying his way to whatever he wanted. One time T went to punch my youngest brother J so hard, he put his hand clear through the wall when J ducked.

Having spent the first seven months of my life in the Infant Home, I would need to be placed with a family where the adults had the ability to patiently nurture me in order to bond.  You could not have picked a person more the opposite than my amother.  She could be that person in doses, but usually saved those doses for her bio kids.  For me she saved her hate and venom, telling me repeatedly from the time I was 4 or 5 that I was stupid, retarded, that I had my brains in my ass, and that she knew I didn't love her.  (She repeated the last one following my wedding.)  She hated that I was a tomboy and told me to grow up and act like a girl should. 

She wouldn't wait until I actually did something wrong to beat on me.  If she had a bad day, she would seek me out.  Punching, kicking, grabbing me by the neck, ripping out my hair, etc.  I didn't even have to say anything to get my face slapped out of the blue.  She would just say that I should wipe the look off my face.  There were times when my afather would stop speaking to me and looking at me for weeks and then explode and beat me in a fit of rage.  It seemed to happen periodically, at least once a year.  The last time was when I was 16. He tearfully apologized the next morning, and never beat me again.  I am still not sure what those incidents were about.

My amother was convinced I was going to become pregnant before graduating high school like my bmom.  She never said this outright, but controlled my every move (I had a 9 pm curfew until I was a senior in high school.  Then it was 10 pm.), who my friends could be, and my "sex" talk at 16 was if I got pregnant, I was not allowed to have an abortion, they would not raise the baby and that I would not be allowed to raise it in their house.  All the isolation, control, verbal and physical crap drove me to enlist in the Navy when I was 17 just to get away from her.  I knew if I stayed I would commit suicide just to escape her insults, her rages, and her control.  I had already tried several times by then.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

The mistreatment of children, in whatever form, regardless of the period of time, robs us of being able to root ourselves in a safe, caring world and sets us up to spend an untold amount of energy throughout our adult lives wrestling with the fact that we will never have a caring, nurturing childhood.  We then have to find ways to fill the hole we're left with.  Some can do this more successfully than others.

The foster care, adoption, and child placement industries have priorities that are financially motivated first and foremost, which means the needs and wants of children are secondary.  Knowingly giving a child to a household that has no skills and no ability to raise a child into a confident, caring young adult should be a crime.  If the state has to pay to care for and provide for children because there aren't adults who are adequate parents, and to keep siblings together, then so be it.  It's not just a moral responsibility to guarantee children safety and health, it's a social responsibility.  In a country that claims to be a democracy, it ought to be a mandate.

About adoption: 

I cannot remember a time that I did not know I was adopted.  But I do remember that I was not allowed to ask what that meant and where my bmom was without being beaten and punished.  Just as when I was a child/adolescent, I'm now expected and legally required to live my life without being able to anchor who I am to history, to a place and to people.  Not only me, but my son is expected to do the same, to make do with half his history, and so will his children.  To have to live out my life in the 21st century according to the social moors and resulting laws from the middle of the last century is nonsensical. 

There is a whole generation of unfinished stories with no substantial, logical reason for remaining so.  At one point in the 1970's, women couldn't secure an abortion, could not obtain birth control pills without their husband being present, were still, for the most part, working in the home, and a whole generation of women had built up no social security benefits or credit record.  All of those things have changed, and closed adoption is one of  the last bastions standing from that era.  It is time for lawmakers and citizens alike to get over their insecurities and their need for control so that a generation of adopted adults who have had decisions made without their consent can start choosing for themselves.

Abuse Case File

robin_redinc's picture
Robin Elizabeth
I was born in October 1959
Memphis, TN
Adopted in 1963 in California by my foster parents
I was raised in a beach community in California.
My abusers were both parents; but primarily my adopted mother

From as early as I remember (before my adoption) I was subjected to emotional, psychological, verbal and physical abuse by my foster mom who later became my adopted mom.  Both parents drank alcohol daily and believed in corporal punishment. My father hit me also. But not nearly as bad as she did. And she constantly put me down, let me know I wasn't good enough.

My worst beating occured during the summer I was 13. My mother beat me with a board so badly that my backside was black & blue from top to bottom and side to side. I had difficulty sitting down for several days.  One friend saw the bruises, but I swore her to secrecy.  All she could say was, "Oh my God, Robin!" 

Police officers came to my junior high. They asked me if my parents hit me; did I had any bruises & could I show them.  Fortunately, I didn't have any bruises. "Fortunately".  Of course I denied that my parents hit me. I was scared to death that when my parents found out I'd 'really get it!'    

I got pregnant at 16 by the only boy I'd ever dated. My adopted mom told me I was a "tramp & a whore, just like your mother!"

Two days after my dad died, my mom disowned me by leaving a message on my voice mail.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

Abuse doesn't just affect the one who's abused. It affects everyone in the abused person's life for a very long time. I affected my children, who were raised not by an abusive mother, but by one who was terribly insecure, who felt like a failure no matter what successes she had, who had trouble expressing loving emotions and was somewhat 'shut off' (for lack of a better description).

My childrend suffered.  My relationships suffered. I was never fully able to accept that anyone could love me.  I still struggle with that today.  The terrible things my a.mom said to me, I'd repeat out loud. Her words hurt those who love me, like my husband.  I learned to stop repeating her words out loud.

About adoption: 

Why would anyone go to the trouble of adopting a child and then abuse that child?  Sadly adoption is no guarantee that an adoptee will end up in a home free from abuse, or that the child will be loved & cared for as every child deserves. 

Still, I support adoption for children who've lost their parents for whatever reason. Every child deserves to have loving parents & a stable home to grow up in.  But the adoption industry needs sweeping reforms.  It must be "child centered". 

Abuse Case File

I Was Here's picture
Annonymous
1970
Vietnam
1973
I was raised in a mostly white family in an all white community.
My abusers were my adoptive parents and their oldest biological son.

I was subjected to physical and mental abuse at the hands of my adoptive parents From June 1974 to December 1981.  The mental abuse continued from my adoptive mother from June 1974 and continued up to February 1993.  I also suffered sexual abuse from my adoptive parent's oldest biological son from 1977 to 1980.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

I continue to this day to have emotional scars and a physical scar.  I have intimacy issues with my spouse sometimes, which causes me to wonder if it has to do with the sexual abuse by my parent's oldest son.  Abuse of any kind towards any one, especially children should NOT be tolerated. 

About adoption: 

I don't believe in intercountry adoption because it separates the child from it's culture, language and self identity.  The child feels alienated within it's new culture in a predominantely white family.

Abuse Case File

iwasstolen's picture
Vanessa
May 18, 1969
India
April 1978
Nelson, British Columbia, Canada
Adopted mother and father

From April 1978 until October 1984 I was sexually and physcially abused by my adopted parents. They both had been found mentally unfit to adopt me but through private adoption were able to get me. I was kept in an attic with no light which was freezing cold in the winter and stiffling hot in the summer. I was starved alot of times as well. I was not allowed in the living room or kitchen except to clean. My life was such a nightmare that sleep became my only friend.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

The abuse I faced is hard to describe and put into words. it kills your soul and makes you think that you are no good and that you are meant to be abused. It makes you feel unloved and uncared for,It never goes away it is always there you just learn to live with it and the past because it will always be part of you.

About adoption: 

I for one do not support intercountry adoption. I beleive adoption is alread hard but when you bring a child from another country and place a minority child in a predominantly white area it damages that child.

My adopted parents were found unfit to adopt me and yet through private adoption were able to get me which is not right just beacause they  had money and I faced years of torture and abuse with no one to help me. I was finally taken away by social services. My adoption should never have been allowed because I had also been stolen from my family and then hidden and then adopted out. it is just wrong!!!!

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