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Abuse Case File

iwasstolen's picture
Submitted by iwasstolen on Thu, 09/11/2008 - 12:19
Vanessa
May 18, 1969
India
April 1978
Nelson, British Columbia, Canada
Adopted mother and father

From April 1978 until October 1984 I was sexually and physcially abused by my adopted parents. They both had been found mentally unfit to adopt me but through private adoption were able to get me. I was kept in an attic with no light which was freezing cold in the winter and stiffling hot in the summer. I was starved alot of times as well. I was not allowed in the living room or kitchen except to clean. My life was such a nightmare that sleep became my only friend.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

The abuse I faced is hard to describe and put into words. it kills your soul and makes you think that you are no good and that you are meant to be abused. It makes you feel unloved and uncared for,It never goes away it is always there you just learn to live with it and the past because it will always be part of you.

About adoption: 

I for one do not support intercountry adoption. I beleive adoption is alread hard but when you bring a child from another country and place a minority child in a predominantly white area it damages that child.

My adopted parents were found unfit to adopt me and yet through private adoption were able to get me which is not right just beacause they  had money and I faced years of torture and abuse with no one to help me. I was finally taken away by social services. My adoption should never have been allowed because I had also been stolen from my family and then hidden and then adopted out. it is just wrong!!!!

  • 243 reads

abuse case file

angel78's picture
Submitted by angel78 on Wed, 08/06/2008 - 04:50
angel78
30-06-1978
Bogota
april 1982
Netherlands
Boyfriend of my adopted mother, adopted brother

From the age of 4 until 12 years I have subject on sexual abuse by my adopted brother and later by the new boyfriend of my adopted mother

Your Message
About Abuse: 

From the time I can remember I have been abused by my adopted brother from the age of 4 until the age off 11. At the end we did not have sex anymore, it was only touching. When that stopped we became each other enemy. Why at that time I did not understand, my brother is the biologic son of my adopted parents. When my adopted parents got divorce, my adopted mother got her self a new boyfriend, and he was an actor, and played in many children movies. He also could not keep his hands home.

About adoption: 

I was adopted from Colombia, my father never knew I was gone by adoption, when he find out, I was already gone to the Netherlands.

I was 3 years, I have stayed in the ICBF for almost 3 years, just to make sure to get me official abandon ( while I wasn’t even abandon) My parents lost me by faith I think. I have found them back, and when they saw me they hoped I was doing well al those years, they were very sad to hear about my life, now I have join a group that come's up for the rights of adoptees, and by help of this group I have found myself for once, and make something of my life.

 

  • 258 reads

Abuse Case File

kimette's picture
Submitted by kimette on Fri, 07/25/2008 - 07:02
kimette
I was born in 1966
I was born in Seoul, Korea
I was adopted at the end of 1975
Quebec, Canada
My abusers were my father, Leo Goudreau, and my mother Lorraine.

From 1979 to 1983, I was sexually abused by my father. From 1979 to 1989, I was subjected to verbal, emotional and physical abuse by my alcoholic mother. From 1983 to 1989, I was verbally abused by my father.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

My father had 5 biological children from his first marriage. I was the only one who had been abused. Asian girls are often seen as a exotic by western men.

My mother had no other child than me. She preferred to drink and beat me instead of protecting me from her housband.

Adoptive mothers of Asian daughters, be aware! Exporting countries of babies,  be aware! You are accoutable.

About adoption: 

The adoption agency and the orphanage didn't get the consent from my family before putting me up for adoption. They promised me to find my house when I gave them my address but but they never searched it. They erased my past and made a fake birth date to make me adoptable. I had a family but the adoption industry put me in a family and a country where I never fit in.  Now, I have no place where I fit in.

International adoption is not ethical.

  • 193 reads

Abuse Case File

almost human's picture
Submitted by almost human on Fri, 07/18/2008 - 14:25
My name is Leanne Leith
I was born March 3rd, 1964
I was born near Seoul, Korea
I was adopted in 1966
I was raised in Taylor, Michigan, an all-white suburb of Detroit
My abuser was my father, a middle school band teacher named David F. Leith

From approximately 1967 to 1976 I was subjected to on-going sexual abuse at the hands of my father.

Your Message
About Abuse: 

Adopted children develop the kind of fatalism that naturally comes with having your life put in turmoil. That makes us especially vulnerable and maleable.

I think it is also a fundamental narcissistic tendency of ALL people to feel more tender towards their own progeny.

Of my adoptive father's four children, all of them biological but me, I was the only one abused.

About adoption: 

On top of being abused with no parent I could trust, being adopted with no history from which to derive identity, and no one to relate to either of these conditions -  add another layer of being an alien in another country, and others telling me repeatedly I did not fit in.  I can not for the life of me understand why anyone would want to subject a child to that kind of isolation, unless their need to be charitable outweighed all sense of reason.

I feel the great sums of money spent on one international adoption could support an entire family in distress, prop up social services to birthparents in crisis, or feed the starving.  There is a market, there is a product, and there are third world countries to exploit.  There is no need to rip a child from its heritage, culture, and identity to save it from a life of misery!  There IS a need to eliminate the forces tearing families apart.

International adoption is allowing countries to neglect their responsibilities towards its own citizens.  This is what adoption constitutes - a cop out - to spend less on its people or to gain money from its babies.  This is what prospective adoptive parents contribute to by supporting an industry that ignores everyone's voices except those with the most money, under the guise of charity.

Stop creating a market for the sale of babies.  Boycott international adoption.  It's the ethical thing to do. 

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