Abuse Case File

Wow, I dont even know how to begin this....Our home was not a house of love. There were no words of encouragement, no compassion, no playful banter, no laughter. lots of tears. I was adopted sometime in the early 80's . Well actually We were adopted then.. we being myself and two of my biological sisters. I was six or seven. It was a very confusing time for me. Ididn't understand who these new people (my A Parents) were, and I didnt understand why I couldnt see my mom. I suffered and i think still suffer from an identity crisis because after living with them for about a year- and attending school they decided to change my name. So one day, i was in school and my name was Mary Jane, and the next, it was Christine. My A Mom would become enraged if anyone (other students) would call me mary. We were adopted because our biologial mother wasnt stable, not able to properly care for or protect us..i had been sexually abused. My adopted mother sat me down and told me that "only bad girls let boys touch them" at six years old i believed i was a whore. This woman told my youngest sister Angie that" You are bastards and God will never love you". Our abuse was physical, mental emotional...to this day each of us is lost within our own fears, unable to connect and be open..so much was stolen from us. How do you find joy in life when you are afraid to truly live?