Another Abused Adoptee

I was adopted when I was 6 months old, and was told that the reason they chose me was because the day they took me home for a day visit I reached out to the male adopter when he went to return me to the foster provider.  So because I wanted him, he wanted me.
 
I was daddy's little girl. I loved him so much. I felt safe in his arms, slept on his chest, sat on his lap, held his hand, went wherever he went. He was my hero.
 
At the age of 5 my adopters told me that I was adopted.  I think I experienced my first panic attack!! I said "Does my mommy miss me?  Is she sad? Is she gonna come and get me?  I don't belong here!!"  They tried to reassure me that I was theirs now, that I was special, that they chose me and they loved me.
 
The very next day my daddy that I loved very much came into my bedroom, I was fully dressed, and scooped me up in his arms, told me how special I was and the he loved me very much. Then he kissed me and put his tongue in my mouth!! It was yucky!!! It was strange!!!  Then he proceeded to fondle me down there, first on the outside of my panties then on the inside.  I felt sick to my stomach, yet, this was my hero who loved me, that I loved, it must be OK, just weird!! He told me that all daddies did this with their little girls.
 
This continued for 7 years on a daily basis. Of course it progressed to oral sex, him on me, and me on him, several attempts at intercourse, but he didn't want to hurt me, he was always gentle. But, he always told me that I was going to be his first. 
 
He also encouraged me to teach my friends how to have an orgasm, in hopes of bringing them home for a three or foursome. This is the part I am most ashamed of. In the 3rd grade I showed 2 of my friends how to masterbate. A shame I still carry today.
 
When I was 12 I had an older girlfriend that was also abused. She told me that what my male adopter was doing was wrong and that he should go to prison for what he's done.  I somehow knew that already, but coming to terms with the truth and the deception, the trauma was overwhelming.  But one day somehow, someway when he came into my room, like he did regularly, I just came right out and said that I knew what he was doing was wrong.  He just looked at me.  Then he sat down on my bed, made me set beside him and he apologized!! He went into some sick explaination that my female adopter wasn't meeting his needs and that he felt loved by me and some other bullshit that I can't remember, because I just tuned him out!!  Then he said he wanted me to continue to keep our secret, and he wouldn't touch me again, BUT if I changed my mind to let him know!!  Prick!
 
My female adopter was a cold, distant, emotionally and verbally abusive bitch. She never told my abro or me that she loved us, never hugged us, never read us stories, nothing. She was a strict perfectionist, and we never came up to her standards. 
 
She walked in on my male adopter molesting me at least 3 if not 4 times, and had the look of shock, disgust, and disbelief, but never did anything about it. I have no idea what my male adopter told her.
 
After that she started telling my abro and I that she wished she never adopted us and that adopting us was the biggest mistake she'd ever made.  That she chose a couple of lemons when she chose us.
 
My male adopter has since died, and I no longer have a relationship with my female adopter.