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special needs

abuse case file

talonsaerie's picture
Submitted by talonsaerie on Mon, 02/01/2010 - 22:37
my name is talon
i was born 5/11/1965
i was born in brooklyn new york
i was adopted september 1965
i was raised in new york city
my abusers were my adopted parents

i dont know when the sexual abuse started but i have memories of it happenning when i was in a crib with bars as of my 2nd birthday i no longer slept in a crib.my adopted dad was my sexual abuser .it continued till he raped me at age 4 [the day the astronauts walked on the moon,] it was on tv as he raped me.before that it was molestation and he liked putting strange objects in my vagina like toothbrushes.the sexual abuse ended then till i was 8 and had weekend visitations without supervision he never made me bleed again,now it was my turn toplease him his favorite way was to make me give him a blow job.once i went to boarding school at age 10 i stopped seeing him in places wed be alone i only saw him in public places yet that didnt stop him from trying to touch me.

the emotional abuse and control trips that my adopted mother put me through started very early she admits to only feeding me when i was a baby if the alarm clock went off it didnt matter if i wasnt hungry shed force me and if i was hungry other times i wasnt allowed to eat shes rather proud of this.she had many food control trips as i grew up...putting me on diets at age 5 even though i was normal weight. having no food in the house was normal. my nanny[housekeeper]used to sneak me food.i was so hungry id find a head of lettuce and eat the whole head hiding under my bed boy was i beaten and raged at for that . the verbal abuse was constant too i was never good enough i was always fat i was told all my problems were because of my jewish blood in me[funny thing is not one iota of me is jewish except my first born and the adopted mom will not acknowledge her because shes jewish] another weird thing was the people i wanted to make friends with i was told were not good enough for me and the people she wanted me to make friends with[usually her friends kids]didnt want to be my friends ,,so i had no friends..and the control trips  continued.. when i was very very young i was not allowed to laugh or to cry or to run around and when i did.... ahh now for the physical abuse... shed hit my head with a wooden spoon shed carry it with her all the time to this day i dont have wooden spoons in my house shed also do what i call the windmill hitting shed be raging at me and her hands would be hitting me slapping me one after the other nonstop...one time she was so bad hitting me i locked myself in the bathroom  and she called the firemen to get me out..noone asked me why i locked myself in the bathroom and why my nose was bleeding and i had a black eye!! another time my arm was dislocated she blamed it on my dad but i remember who really yanked me that day..she used to tell me shed like to return me that shed gotten the wrong kid and once i was 10 i no longer had a home/bedroom/even a bed or closet in her home by 16 after adopted dad died she told me i was no longer her responsibility  since there was no more child support coming from him and since then ive had very little contact with her..he took my innocence away she took my childhood away sad thing is i actually bonded with her and grieve the fact she doesnt want me and never will

Your Message
About Abuse: 

all i can say about abuse is it should never happen. but it does .and not excusing but understanding i must say this most abusers were abused. its a disease like alcoholism or addictive personality its often learned its passed down from parent to child from teacher to student.we need intervention not witch hunts .more moms and dads would seek help if they didnt think theyd immediately lose custody of their kids . to become a therapist one must go into therapy i beleive that to become a parent one should go to parenting classes and therapy. we go to birth education classes or la maz classes to learn how to have a baby i think there should be parenting classes scheduled for parents as their child grows ,birth,potty training/terrible 2s ,entering school , graduating elementary/adolescence,teens and definately one on letting your child go gracefully when they turn 18.maybe then child abuse would be a rare disease.

About adoption: 

my birth mother ended up in her lifetime forming a grass roots organization in her state that took throwaway children[usually ones who were severely abused sexually/physically and emotionally] out of mental hospitals that the state put them in and helped them heal and helped them learn how to trust again and live in society again,, then she helped them find adoptive parents ones they got to choose [she got that state to allow gay adoption because  often for sexually abused girls it was best to be in a household where there were no men]besides she told the state if not for gay couples wanting them they would be institutionalized...after the kids picked thier adoptive parents my birth mother held seminars in how to care for the adopted child.

her opening statement was this

no matter how bad their birth parents were whether they are muderers or abusers you as adopted parents need to find something good about them to tell the adopted child..for if you hate or put down the birth parent the child will start to hate themselves or put themselves down or think somethings wrong about themselves no matter how young the child no matter how  bad the situation the child is biologically related to them and they know this means they have their birth parents blood running through them..help the child love themselves by finding something good about their biological family to talk about and nurture good feelings never forgetting what happenned but tempering it with nothing is all bad .

one more thing that i call my heart song when you adopt a child i beleive its a life long commitment, even more so then when you push a baby out of yourself ,i feel that the commitment doesnt end at 18 or 21 or when the adoptee marries its forever till the adopted parent or adoptee dies.after all its a covenant when you sign those papers!!!!

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